One month after I was admitted to the hospital, my life is still on pause. I still have no answers, no solutions; I'm not home and can’t drive for at least 3 more weeks.
My doctors and physical therapists tell me that I need to go slow with the physical therapy, take more medication and be patient. I’d be more than happy to follow that advice if it worked. I have been going slow, doing only what they tell me and my legs still shut down again on Tuesday! They have no idea what’s going on so they don’t know how to help me. Skiing again this season is looking less likely each day, and that breaks my heart. Honestly though, the worst part is not knowing. I don’t know what to do to get better, to get back to my life, I have no plan.
I do my few exercises each day, go to my doctor and physical therapy appointments, watch the ski racing results hoping that my friends and teammates ski well, try to put a smile on my face and that’s all I can do.
1 comment:
Having working with you only briefly one evening as one of your caregivers, I was sticken with how strong your spirit is, and likely has been through all of the adversity you have faced in life. To see what you have seen, to compete at the level you have, to have climbed one of the world's legendary mountains, there is no doubt in my mind that you can overcome this as well. Though now you are dealing with the physical rebellion of your body against your wishes, I know you will overcome it. I believe this since I was privileged to have seen just how determined you are to not give up on yourself. Medicine does not hold all of the answers we are looking for, and sometimes doctors blame a person's mind rather than themselves for not having answers that their patient's need. I have no doubt, having read your words that your mind is not to blame, but rather it is the inadequacy of our knowledge that is to blame. Keep doing what you are doing, don't doubt yourself, don't give up on yourself. We will see you ski again, I am certain of it.
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