Resolve

“Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.” ~Woody Allen

This is how I feel that this last part of the season has gone for me.
There are some times when giving your all with the best with preparation and dedication just isn’t enough, but there are other days when finding the finish line gives you what you needed. It is bittersweet I guess. I feel like I’m sitting in that place right now. I’ve done everything I know how to do to get myself strong again and ski fast and yet race day still remains a gamble.

I went to the Europa Cup race in La Molina, Spain with the intention to get another SL and GS start and maybe some points. I walked away with some much needed GS points, a Silver medal in the SL and points to keep me in the running for my 3rd Paralympic Games. I was pretty pleased. I knew it wasn’t my best skiing but it was good enough.

I came home for a couple days, trained and headed off to Kimberley, Canada with hopes of going up there, skiing some fast DH and SG and leaving with less than 120 points in at least one event. Points under 120 would mean a possibility to go to World Cup Finals and a chance to compete in a speed event at the Paralympics.

Unfortunately, my goals and life aren’t always in agreement. I ended up dealing with a horrible stomach bug and fought with my body and my mind just to race the 4 races. I felt I had to try, because there was no chance to get my points if I didn’t start. I often repeat the phrase ‘you can’t win if you don’t try’ in my head when I feel like there isn’t much more I can do. I did manage to finish all 4 races, but probably because I didn’t push it. Don’t get me wrong, I put everything I had into each run, but I just didn’t have much strength, energy or concentration- all of which are very important for skiing fast in speed races. I got 2nd and 3rd in the DH races and 3rd both SG races. While I had some good turns and parts to each race, I just didn’t get it done and didn’t get my points. Part of me is broken hearted as this means unless I go to US Nationals these were my last speed races. It’s hard to think that my career as a ski racer is ending and this was the end for me and speed. It would’ve been nice to end it at World Cup or the Paralympics, but it is what it is and I have to move forward and focus on what is ahead.

Team USA for the Paralympic Games will not be announced until 22nd February 16, 2010. I've done everything I can do up to this point so I will wait and hope for the best!!!