Let the Games Begin!!

Opening Ceremonies last night was incredible! Being the United States, we of course were at the end of the Parade of Athletes so we waited in the wings and watched on the live feed as the other countries and many of our Winter Park teammates walked in representing their respective countries. It was so cool to watch my friends; Katja from Finland, the crew from Great Brittan, Erna from Iceland, Arly and Armando from Mexico, Adam and Peter from New Zealand, Jas from Serbia, Martin from Slovakia & Gal from Slovenia. Then it was our turn!

When you walk into a stadium filled with people who are yelling and cheering for you as you’re representing your country- it’s AMAZING! The emotion that welled up inside me as I walked through the stadium was almost overwhelming. The feelings of accomplishment and pride were so strong I cannot even describe. It made a lot of the struggles and worries from this past year melt away, even if just for a few minutes! I feel so fortunate to be able to be part of this one more time! Thank you to everyone who has helped me on my journey!

Now it’s race time. The schedule is up in the air due to weather and snow conditions but it’s looking like there is a strong possibility that I will be racing my Slalom race this coming Monday the 15th instead of the 20th. We’ll see what happens.

Good things come to those who wait

Sorry I’ve been such a slacker who my blog. I’m usually very good but it’s been a bit of a roller coaster the past couple weeks. I was waiting for the 22nd and Team USA announcements, but it didn’t quite happen like that. The 22nd came and went with a few people getting phone calls and others like myself left to wait. I knew that I couldn’t change the decision, good or bad, but I wanted to know. Finally on the 24th I got a phone call saying that I was going to Vancouver!!! I was told I would be skiing the Giant Slalom (GS) and Slalom (SL)!

We left the 7th of March and I am now in the Paralympic Village. When we arrived it was raining but yesterday and today we were fortunate to have colder temperatures and a little sun. I will not be competing until the 18th so I will be training at the mountain until then. Opening ceremonies are the 12th and I am very excited!

I will try to be better about keeping my blog up to date. Thanks for all your support and encouragement!

Resolve

“Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.” ~Woody Allen

This is how I feel that this last part of the season has gone for me.
There are some times when giving your all with the best with preparation and dedication just isn’t enough, but there are other days when finding the finish line gives you what you needed. It is bittersweet I guess. I feel like I’m sitting in that place right now. I’ve done everything I know how to do to get myself strong again and ski fast and yet race day still remains a gamble.

I went to the Europa Cup race in La Molina, Spain with the intention to get another SL and GS start and maybe some points. I walked away with some much needed GS points, a Silver medal in the SL and points to keep me in the running for my 3rd Paralympic Games. I was pretty pleased. I knew it wasn’t my best skiing but it was good enough.

I came home for a couple days, trained and headed off to Kimberley, Canada with hopes of going up there, skiing some fast DH and SG and leaving with less than 120 points in at least one event. Points under 120 would mean a possibility to go to World Cup Finals and a chance to compete in a speed event at the Paralympics.

Unfortunately, my goals and life aren’t always in agreement. I ended up dealing with a horrible stomach bug and fought with my body and my mind just to race the 4 races. I felt I had to try, because there was no chance to get my points if I didn’t start. I often repeat the phrase ‘you can’t win if you don’t try’ in my head when I feel like there isn’t much more I can do. I did manage to finish all 4 races, but probably because I didn’t push it. Don’t get me wrong, I put everything I had into each run, but I just didn’t have much strength, energy or concentration- all of which are very important for skiing fast in speed races. I got 2nd and 3rd in the DH races and 3rd both SG races. While I had some good turns and parts to each race, I just didn’t get it done and didn’t get my points. Part of me is broken hearted as this means unless I go to US Nationals these were my last speed races. It’s hard to think that my career as a ski racer is ending and this was the end for me and speed. It would’ve been nice to end it at World Cup or the Paralympics, but it is what it is and I have to move forward and focus on what is ahead.

Team USA for the Paralympic Games will not be announced until 22nd February 16, 2010. I've done everything I can do up to this point so I will wait and hope for the best!!!

Perseverance

“…let me tell you what winning means... you're willing to go longer, work harder, give more than anyone else. ~Vincent Lombardi

The last time I was in a start gate to race was 28 March 2008. That is a long time to be out of racing! With all I’ve been through I’m thankful for what I have and what I am now able to do again. Perseverance and hope is what has gotten me through and I’m not backing down now. I have no idea how this week is going to go but I feel like I am “willing to go longer, work harder and give more than anyone else.” Every racer wants to be the winner and I’ll give my best effort to do just that, but at the end of the day, I will have won when I reach that finish line after my second run. I have worked hard to rehab and been training hard to be able to reach that start gate and finish line on Monday.

Tonight, some of my teammates and I went to dinner to enjoy where were we are and what we’re doing. Skiing fast is the best part of ski racing, but camaraderie takes a very close second. Having fun with friends makes it just a little sweeter. Tomorrow we are training on the race hill at Copper Mountain and I can barely contain my excitement! I’m happy to be here with my team training and racing. Thanks to everyone who has helped me to not give up and follow my heart!

Championship Character

Champions do not become champions when they win the event, but in the hours, weeks, months and years they spend preparing for it. The victorious performance itself is merely the demonstration of their championship character. ~T. Alan Armstrong

I returned to the snow this past Saturday at Copper Mountain and I am delighted at how good it felt to be skiing again! I am still working on getting my leg back into racing shape but each day I hope it will improve. I know that my hip and legs will never be the same after all I’ve been through, but I’m counting on being able to adapt to the differences and be as fast as ever.

It’s been a busy past couple months. I have been in the gym, and taking 3 classes 2 days a week that are prerequisites for a radiology technician program next fall. I am trying to keep my focus in the present and prepare myself best I can for the future, whether that is a couple months or years ahead.

A major highlight was in September I received the Hal O’Leary Award from the Colorado Rockies and NSCD. The awards dinner was held on the dirt of the field at Coors Field. This was a very humbling and wonderful experience. Hal O’Leary is the creator of innovation in disabled sports; to receive an award bearing his name is so incredible and a huge honor!
Right now I’m trying to get enough money together for the season so that I can attend all the races necessary to qualify for the Paralympics. I just want to have a fun and successful season! Let’s go skiing.

Racing at SkiTAM

This was a photo taken in Vail, CO during the team race at SkiTAM.
I know it's not my best racing photo ever, it's what was published in the SkiTAM magazine, so I thought I'd share :)

May

The race season is over, the mountain is closed and it’s officially Mud Season in WP.

I would love to sit here and write that things are all better and that my life is back on track but that isn’t exactly true. The good news is that my legs have been working most of the time and I was able to finish the season skiing. I was actually able to get back into a race course right before the start of US Nationals here in Winter Park. I really wanted to start the SL race at Nationals but my leg stopped working just days before, once again leaving me weaker than I was and I didn’t want to push it. I was, however, able to be a forerunner and that brought me immense joy. It was so nice to be back in the start with my teammates, and even better to be knocking gates down in a course. I was very thankful that I was able to do that and I felt like it put me one big step closer to being well again. I must admit that the weakness I’m dealing with daily is definitely exaggerated when I’m skiing and that is difficult, but my choice is to deal and push through or sit around. I don’t sit still very well.

Nationals were fun but the best part of the last couple weeks was the 2 consecutive powder days the closing weekend. I got to ski 14 inches of fresh one day and 22” the next- which in spots was really the 36”. It was insane and a lot of work, but we don’t have those kind of powder days often so I HAD to ski.

While I’m still healing and getting better, my program is working out in the gym on a regular basis; diligently doing my exercises, biking whenever it’s nice enough and visit my chiropractor Dr. Mike as often as I can get to Denver.

I had to take a leave from the ambulance as I just cannot return with my leg still being so unpredictable. So, because I do not have the income from EMS, fundraising is going to be extra important and a huge focus!

My intention is to attend as many summer and fall camps as I can physically handle. That means, if I’m strong enough, I plan on going to Mt. Hood in June, New Zealand in August and Chile in September. Following the snow around the world is not cheap so I’m going to have to work very hard to get the funding I need.

“I like living. I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly,

acutely miserable, racked with sorrow, but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing.” -Agatha Christie

I’m BACK!!!!

I have been able to walk without using my crutches for 9 whole days now!

I don’t know what changed or how it happened but last Monday I “turned the corner.” For the first time in weeks I’m able to walk around without worry. I’m still not my “normal” self; my balance is definitely worse than usual, my legs are still a little wobbly and I’m still feeling the different aspects of weakness. But, compared to where I was even 2 weeks ago things are GREAT. I am back in Winter Park, I have been back on the mountain skiing and life is okay. I’m taking each day as it comes, and trying to keep my chin up and focus on the good things. I have a nerve test tomorrow called an EMG. I hope it will give the doctors better ideas as to what is going on, but you never know.

I am just happy for today, because I can help what tomorrow will bring, I’ll deal with that then.

31 December 2008

I’m not sure how many days I’ve had on snow at this point but it’s getting close to double digits. It’s crazy to think that I have had less than 10 days on snow and January is tomorrow. I guess that’s how it goes.

This week has been one of my best weeks yet। I got into gates for the first time since last year on Monday. I didn’t ski the whole course and I sure didn’t ski well, but I did it and I was pleased with that. At this point, I don’t have high expectations with training but it feels good to do it. I was extremely sore after my efforts Monday but a day off and some Advil fixes a lot.

Today we had Super G training and I was reluctant to go out। Speed skis are not exactly the easiest to ski and I wasn’t sure if I could even control them, let alone turn them। Thanks to a great tune by a local guy Bob, and some previous experience, I had no issues. I had the best day I’ve had all year! I wasn’t laying down clean arcs and ripping it up, but I was going fast, feeling the snow, and skiing Super G! I was SO happy when I came off the mountain today. Thanks goodness for small miracles and great tunes!

First Day Back

These days it seems that things just don’t go as planned. My first day back on snow was not an exception to this and did NOT go as I had hoped. It was nice to be back out in the sunshine and on the snow, but beyond that my day was not very fun. I didn’t think I had high expectations but apparently even my low expectations were too high for my ability at the moment. For the first time since I was young I felt inept. I am good skier and to feel like a beginner was very disheartening. I know that I didn’t ski as bad as I felt but it was still very poor skiing. I was on the only open slope, which is a green run. Usually I just bomb around and make lap after lap but I was only able to make it through 4 runs. This was beyond my goal of one but it was by sheer will. My right leg just wouldn’t cooperate with me and I had very little control of my hip. Putting pressure on my right leg was a challenge mentally and physically. I walked away from the day very disappointed and nervous about my ability to ski. I’m crossing my fingers that it will truly just be a matter of time before I’ll get it back. I'm not giving up, but it appears that I'll have to give myself more time than I thought, my race season seems to really be slipping away, I want so bad for this to be temporary!