Back In Action

After many health issues from previous problems, then a broken collar bone requiring surgery to repair, and delays in everything healing I was FINALLY well enough to return to the water!

I am fortunate enough to have a have a couple of really good guys in my corner to call and refer to for help. Thankfully they each had some time to offer me on the water. I had a few sessions working on starts and trying to paddle straight with an AWESOME kayaker Scott.  A session or two of just cruising around with Brian, then a long session of paddling hard, easy, and then attempting some paddle board stuff for balance with Chris. It felt really good to be on the water and my seat was good but might need some more work, so maybe over the winter I can get a new one done.  It’s now time to focus on school and enjoy the winter... because I will not be breaking anything this year!

Larry and I after I broke my collar bone

Bear Creek Lake-Burton swimming after me :)

Trying to figure out the paddleboard

Challenges

Returning home proved to be full of more challenges than expected, which is how my life generally goes so one would think I’d be prepared for the unexpected.

I had surgery on my hip scheduled for May, but that didn’t happen. I ended up with a rare eye infection that made the ophthalmologist refer me to a neurologist who was afraid I had an auto-immune disorder and therefore if he was right it was possible I could lose my sight having my surgery. So, surgery was delayed! I had lots of test ran and saw a lot of doctors. They never figured out what the cause of the eye infection was but it was determined I was safe to get my hip repaired. Because the hip surgery was going to be major I had to schedule it with 2 surgeons and it was delayed until July. This was a big bummer but it gave me a chance to hike a little, be on the water a little and just have some summer! 

Mt Sherman

 

 Surgery on my hip went really well. They were able to repair the cartilage, anchor it down, shave lots of bone that was impeding movement and were hopeful for a good outcome. Unfortunately recovery didn’t go so well. I got an infection from being in hospital and was in and out of the hospital for weeks. Even after multiple rounds of antibiotics and finally being infection free I was left with permanent damage to my gut. All of this meant I was not getting proper nutrition and my overall health and healing was compromised. Lots of doctors visits, tests, medications and frustration. Thankfully I have lots of family support, great friends and a cute dog to help me through. 

Cleaning up the mess in my hip

Trying to beat the infection

Burton taking care of me

First Paracanoe Race

This Spring we were fortunate for very warm and mild weather and I had had an opportunity to train on the water on my own several weeks prior to Paracanoe trials. The event was US Olympic Trials for London and Paracanoe trials to qualify for World Championships in Poland and it took place at the Oklahoma City Chesapeake Boathouse.  I was excited and nervous. This was my first race and felt I didn’t have enough training under my belt to do well and I had just been told when I returned I would have to have major hip surgery again. I weighed it out and decided that we all have to start somewhere so I honored my commitment; I loaded up my boat, myself and my dog and drove the 700 miles out there.

The facility was incredible, everyone was VERY nice and I met lots of fabulous people! I got out on the water when I arrived in the afternoon sun. I had a chance to practice a couple times in the start gate which was brand new to me and I was very grateful for the opportunity to do that before the race!

View of the starting line from the docks

Unfortunately, when race day rolled around the weather did NOT cooperate. After years of ski racing you think I’d know how to expect the unexpected but everyone kept hoping and thinking the bad weather was going to blow through and by our evening start times we’d be good. But when you’re at the mercy of the water and the wind it can be a very tough. I went out on the water in the morning to try to figure it out, just in case but I’ll be honest and say I just didn’t know enough to paddle straight with a 20 mph cross wind. I tried for about 45 minutes and decided I’d take a break and come back later before the race to warm up and be ready to go.

Because of the wind there were numerous false starts in the races before ours and we were just hanging out in our boats paddling around in the wind waiting. We too had issues with false starts which made the process even longer. By the time we had a good start we were behind schedule by about 45 minutes and my body wasn’t happy.

I paddled as hard as I could for the 200m but I zigzagged down the course fighting the water and the wind the whole way. I placed 3^rd in the LTA class and got to be on the podium with my competitors but I was not happy with my time or my performance.  Honestly I was embarrassed to paddle so poorly with so many top athletes around and so many spectators watching. I had to remind myself I’m just a rookie and we all have to start somewhere. I walked away knowing I had a lot to work on but confident that I had the ability to improve by the next race. Guess that’s all I could ask for right then.

Race1- photo credit Ben Kvanli

Hannah Race 1- photo credit Kevin Carr

3rd Place LTA, At least the sun came out for awards

Be Brave Enough to Be...

...Willing to Fall

By Hannah from http://www.teamawe.blogspot.com/

Ever since I can remember I have been far from graceful on my feet. I have fallen and picked myself up more times than I can count. Because of that, one might think that I’m an expert, but I’m not. My constant struggle with physical balance is both literal and a metaphor for so many other things in life. Each stumble, each fall is a reminder that life is uncertain and that me and my body are fallible. Falling is scary and it can hurt, so being willing to fall is a hard thing to do.

 Recently both my body and the universe have been throwing a lot at me and if I was afraid to fall I wouldn’t be able to move forward. Trusting that my leg will swing through and catch me with my next step is not any different than believing that hard work, preparation and training will take you where you want to go. They both make perfect sense but they both seem very unlikely at random times. Despite the fear of falling, in order to get ahead you have to put yourself out there, even if it’s just one foot at a time or you may never know the strength you have.

Last October Team A.W.E. participated in an extraordinary event. We were part of the Tedx CrestmoorPark in Denver. The event was about community and empowerment and we were given 15 minutes to speak. We were all comfortable speaking on our own in front of groups of various sizes but this was a whole new ballgame. We had to prepare and execute a speech as a team while making a positive impact on the people listening. Being relative perfectionists in the days leading up to the speech we were unsure and it would have easier to take the easy route and do something we were more familiar with, but that’s not the kind of people we are. We were out of our comfort zones and at times it was difficult, frustrating, time consuming...

…and so WORTH IT!! We were the final speakers of the night so we had listened to all the amazing stories of the strong people who spoke before us and knew we had big shoes to fill. We got up there, presented ourselves and our speech about as well as we could have, and in return we were given a standing ovation! It was unbelievable and beyond our expectations! We had taken a risk and put ourselves out there and it paid off!! We met many beautiful and motivated people, earned respect as speakers and individuals, renewed our spirits and opened doors to continue to grow as a team.

 Being brave enough to fall really meant that we were brave enough to succeed!

Be Brave Enough to Be...

…AWEsome.
I recently decided to become part of a very strong group of women- Team AWE-Able Women Empowering. We came together to help each other as well as other athletes to excel in whatever they chose to do.

As World-Class athletes with disabilities, our mission is to provide support to women brave enough to pursue specific athletic goals for themselves through financial opportunities, education support, inspiration, and motivation.

In the process of establishing this wonderful team I have also decided to take another leap, I am trying to find another sport. At this time I am pursuing the sport of Paracanoe. Below is my latest blog post at www.teamawe.blogspot.com

Be Brave Enough To…

… Try.

Everything in life is a challenge if you aren’t good at it or don’t know what you’re doing. The catch is that in order to master anything at some point you have to take that first step and try it. New adventures and activities can be very humbling and my latest task proved no different.

Inspired by my good friend from Slovenia and the great ladies that are part of Team A.W.E I decided to try out the sport of Paracanoe. I packed my blazer up and drove 1200 miles to Seattle with my puppy in the passenger seat. I knew when I left that it was very likely to be tough and that there was a real possibility I’d be no good at all. You can’t win if you don’t try so I was going to give it a solid attempt.

I spent a total of 6 days on the water at Green Lake with Robert Picardo and Vadim Kin from the Seattle Canoe and Kayak Club (SCKC). My first day was almost comical as I completely embarrassed myself. I had been traveling for lots of hours with very little sleep and my body was not happy. Vadim and I spent some time setting the boat up so I could try to paddle and no sooner did I get away from the dock, and trying to stay balanced than I was tipped over and taking a swim. The air temp was about 63° F and the water a whopping 55°F. It wouldn’t have been so embarrassing if a former US Canoe/Kayak team member hadn’t been there on the dock to watch the whole thing and then I was so worn out and cold that I couldn’t stop shivering enough to get back in the boat. Not the start I was looking for, but I’ve never been easily deterred, so I showed up the next day to try again.

All but one of days I was on the water I tipped over and had to swim back to the dock or to shore with my boat and paddle in hand. Sometimes it was a long swim and the water didn’t warm up but my drive to improve kept me going and motivated me to get back in the boat cold and wet whether it was sunny or rainy. My boat handling skills progressed and was assured that I have potential to be a good racer. I might not be ready to enter a regatta tomorrow but I got better each and every day. I was brave enough to try & I might have just found a new sport!

Life is about change

Change can be both positive and negative but it’s mostly what you make of it.

I decided to update my ski racing blog because it might have to change and become my “racing” blog. Yes I’m still retired from ski racing and I have no intention of going back. Between the money, politics and physical demand I’m happy to be done. Winter Park is still my home and I’m still very involved with the NSCD Alpine Ski Team. I helped out with camps and new athletes this past season, but in truth; I know I made the right decision moving on. Over the past 15 months I’ve opened the next chapter in my life and my main focus has been trying to finish my bachelor’s degree in Biology. That being said I’m an athlete and a competitor. It’s in my blood. I have a very hard time being stagnant.

Last season the NSCD welcomed Nordic, Biathlon and Snowboard into their program& Snowboard cross has actually been added to the Paralympic Games for Sochi 2014!! After a little contemplation and very little persuasion I decided I needed to at least give it a go. I have only been on a snowboard a handful of times before this season but I was ready to suck it up and see if I could figure it out.

Not a big surprise, but I stunk. I wanted to pressure the edge like a ski but I didn’t have the momentum or balance to keep up with it. The head coach Brent and the guys that ride with him were very supportive and enthusiastic towards my efforts. I know I’m not very good but I did improve each time I strapped into the board. Unfortunately just as I thought I was figuring it out, I made a poor decision and went out on a day that the sun was shining but the snow was hard. I ended up catching an edge, landing just wrong. I limped my way down without assistance but finished my day at Granby Medical Center getting a CT. It showed I had disrupted one of the disks in my lower spine- huge bummer!! Not an injury I’ve dealt with or wanted to deal with. It all happened 1st March so I decided to play it safe and stay off the board for the rest of the season while the inflammation in my spine and surrounding tissues went down.
Hopefully this coming season will go a little better. I’d love to say I’m going to rip it up and be able to hang with boys and enter a comp and just be an all around Snowboard Betty Bad Ass… but my plan is to get good enough to just ride. I hope to ride with the NSCD snowboard team and see how much I can improve.

Below are a couple photos from Wells Fargo Weekend in Winter Park 2011.

Post Paralympic Reflection

Snow is still on the ground in Winter Park, CO but the mountain is closed and most people (including myself) have put the ski gear away. I sit here looking out at the snow and think about how I am not done ski racing just for this year, I’m really done.

It’s a very odd feeling knowing that the path you’ve traveled for the past 13 years has reached the end. The highlight reel that runs in my mind has so many highs and lows. I am so grateful for all the opportunities I’ve had and the friends I’ve made! I have been able to do so much and see so many places I never imagined seeing. One part of me feels like the luckiest person in the world while the other side of me is somber with the reality that the ride is over. My family, friends and sponsors have stuck by me through it all and made it possible!

Ironically enough, two years ago today I had the PAO surgery on my right hip. I walked into the operating room knowing that there was possibility of my racing career coming to end that day. Obviously it didn’t end that day but in the many days to follow it seemed to slip away. Somehow despite it all I got back on snow. I didn’t have 2 more seasons of racing, but this last one was just fine. The fact that I persevered beyond that surgery and everything else I’ve endured since, to make it to my 3rd Paralympic Winter Games, is just short of a miracle. Maybe miracle is a bit strong but after lying in a hospital bed unable to move my legs just 14 months before opening ceremonies- it feels pretty miraculous to have made it.

The Vancouver 2010 Paralympics were fantastic! In comparison to 2006; I didn’t have to travel for weeks prior to leaving, it was a relatively short flight to Vancouver, it was a non-snowy and uneventful drive to Whistler where the village was actually complete, our housing was close to other athletes, the gym and the dining hall, and we had strong staff there with us. In addition; I had my parents, my boyfriend and a couple other close friends up there in the stands supporting me!

As far as the mountain and the competition, it was definitely not ideal. In fact it was probably the worst situation and conditions I’ve ever raced in. I always talk about ski racing being a winter sport and it being very weather dependent. When the conditions aren’t good the safety of the athletes is at risk so the organizers generally err on the side of caution. In this case the caution they used was to flip-flop the entire schedule. This does happen occasionally, but I’ve never seen them run the Downhill (DH) training runs to then run the Slalom (SL) race. It may happen but not at any disabled races I’ve been to.

What this meant for me was that I was racing my SL race on the 15th instead of the 21st and my Giant Slalom (GS) race on the 17th instead of the 19th. We’re athletes and we’ve training thoroughly for our events but mentally this was a big hurdle. We hadn’t been skiing or training SL because we all thought we had plenty of time. Plus, the schedule change was because of weather so we knew the conditions were going to be less than ideal. To top it off, SL is my better event and I really wanted to end my Paralympics and probably my ski racing career with my strongest event. Unfortunately that didn’t happen. Not only did I not end with SL but I didn't end with the best SL race of my career either. I know that the fresh snow, the fog and the inconsistent conditions played a big part in this as my balance is worse when visibility is decreased and bumps are increased. I’m not making excuses it’s just the way it is. I raced two solid runs and reached the finish, but not the aggressive yet smooth skiing that wins medals. My goal was top 10 but I finished 16th, not what I wanted but 16th in the world isn’t too bad.

My GS race went about the same. We did not wake up to 10 inches of new snow like SL day but we had fog so thick that 3 gate visibility was pushing it and there was a sleet/ rain mixture on the bottom of the course that added to the level of difficulty. I skied as well as I could with the courses and conditions at hand, but again didn’t ski fast enough. I had a better 2nd run than 1st run but not the kind of run I wanted to end on. I know that I have the ability to ski better but I couldn’t ski to that ability on that day. I went, I raced, and I finished. Finishing isn’t a goal I normally strive for, but to end my ski career without crashing, without injury and to finish 15th place is just fine with me. I felt I could walk away with my head held high.

The Paralympics weren’t over after my races but the ending was about the same. Closing Ceremonies were a very rainy and cool, and maybe a bit of a let down. The truth is though; I enjoyed myself through it all as I really am happy and thrilled to have had the journey I did!